The Unknown: Contrasts In Unrest And Peace
Psalm 13
How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
As I look at what the next year hold’s for me, there are so many unknowns and I look forward to them unfolding in their own time.
For so long, I was stuck in the unknown and the forsaken. I knew that God had a plan but my vision was so blurred by my own grief and my agony. It seems that for five years I’ve searched for peace as I dealt with my own infertility. The unknowns consumed me. I could find no rest.
And now, as I turn the next chapter, I’ve found peace in the face of the unknown. We plan to adopt a sibling group. But from there, the unknowns begin.
Obviously, with our application not even sent in yet, there’s the possibility we won’t be able to adopt- or perhaps be given another “Not Yet” from God. And God may only have one child picked out for us. But, I’m not worried about that.
The real unknowns begin from there. From what we understand it may be possible to have children by May or June. And certainly is quite possible within the next 6 months. It could be longer and it could be sooner.
We don’t know how many children we’ll adopt. I’m partial to 3 or 4; DH is partial to 2 or 3. We feel we’re limited to no more than four because we only have one vehicle. While we’d love younger children, it isn’t a must. We’d like to have at least one girl and one boy and with that in mind along with home and regulation contraints- we couldn’t have no more than 2 of either sex. We aren’t worried about who is partial to what number- we know we’ll find out how many when God reveals our children to us. We also realize that God may reveal something that we aren’t anticipating- for example four girls or four boys or all older children.
Making plans for upcoming year is nearly impossible and I love it! My mother-in-law wanted us to look at tickets for a race this fall. Then we realized that we have no idea how many tickets we’d need if we could even make it.
But, in the face of all this, I’m at peace. What a welcomed difference from the days we were stuck in the previous chapter!
Related posts:
- Expecting The Blessings Of Family
- Finding Peace in God’s Will
- Palm Sunday Visions
- A Starting Point
- Stuck in a Nightmare, or at least a Very Bad Dream