Today, I am awaiting a call from the state fire inspector to meet with her for our fire inspection. It’s required as part of our adoption process. I’m a bundle of mixed emotions. I’m not worried about the inspection though I’m sure something will come up that I haven’t thought about- at least that’s what I used to tell day care providers as they prepared for inspections. I want to get it over with- so that I can fix anything and move on to the next step. But, looking forward is giving me major anxiety. Sometimes that thought of an instant family freezes me in my tracks- as if I’m standing at that cliff. I can feel the nervous energy as I sit here, waiting. Waiting seems to be the name of the game. I guess that’s the other major emotion I feel right now- I’m ready now and I wish I had the kids already!
Then, of course, there’s the wonder of it all. What will our kids be like, how many, boys/girls, ages, personalities, etc?
One thing is for sure, we’re getting closer. We’ve got fingerprinting, physicals, paperwork, and our homestudy before we can be approved. Then it’s the search for our kids- the ones that God has waiting out there for us.
The other thing on my mind is- where are my kids right now? Possibly in school, possibly not being supervised. What are their evenings like? I think one of the hardest things about adopting children through CPS is knowing that to get our kids, our kids have to go through the abuse/neglect that puts them in the foster care system.