Job Interviews, Online Shopping, Fishing, and House Selling
You might just be wondering how those all relate together. Those are just some of the analogies we’ve used throughout this adoption process.
The Job Interview
Well, it felt like a job interview and loan application all at once- and more. I’m talking about the Home Study and the process to get that done. A million questions and gazillion pieces of paper. All the time wondering what others think of you, wondering if you’ll past the test, wondering if you’ll be allowed to take the next step. Not only is your house and vehicle inspected several times, but your life is as well. And though it’s not meant to feel like an interrogation, that’s what you begin to wonder as interview questions turn to how we fight, how you feel about sex, finance issues, feelings about family members, childhood memories, etc.
I guess we passed that. The problem is, you never really now. Even once you’ve got an approved home study, getting it approved is only a part of the puzzle. Then, you have to wonder how others read it much the same way that you wonder how others read a job resume- only this ain’t a job we’re trying to land, it’s our family!
Online Shopping
I know I’ve said this before. When you look online at children who become available, it starts to feel like you’re shopping online. Especially as you rule out the ones who aren’t right for you. Thankfully, we’ve never said, oh that one’s too fat or that’s one got the wrong color eyes. But, it’s the same type of feeling as you determine if this one’s got to many emotional issues, or that one’s got medical issues we’re not prepared to deal with. We decided very on that we’d submit an interest form on any sibling group that met our minimum criteria- to avoid the should we inquire about this one but not that one.
All the while, each picture tears at your heart. Not only is this your life staring you in the face, it’s the children’s lives as well. We’ve watched many children fall off the listing. Each time, I’m hopeful that it’s a good thing and that they’ve been adopted.
Fishing
Once you finish the “online shopping”, you begin fishing. You throw your line out there and wait. Sometimes you might get a nibble, but most of the time nothing. Some nibbles are harder than others. You begin to wonder if you’ll ever get a bite.
Families are ruled out for various reasons long before the selection meeting. Sometimes you find they are interested in you, but when you get more facts about the children, you realize that you’re no longer feel like they’d be the right fit for you. We’ve received information back on several sibling groups that indicated there were issues we were not prepared to deal with. I’m not going to say that we throw them back like you would a fish because it’s just too cruel. It’s harsh enough in the first place when your humanity stares you down.
House Selling
That’s probably the newest parrallel we could draw. If you get a really strong nibble, then you go through the selection process. Your social worker has to “sell” the children’s worker and others on you. In reality, they are trying to find the right fit. But, if you don’t promote your strengths, who will, right? So, you do. . . then you wonder if they’ll buy.
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- Expecting The Blessings Of Family
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- Then There Was This Wait
- The Unknown: Contrasts In Unrest And Peace
- Palm Sunday Visions